Psychic Attraction or Twin Flame? How addictive personalities can justify all sorts of things…

BlindSpotFatalAttraction4Astrologer Lynn Koiner, in writing about Neptune’s retrograde period in Pisces from June 9, 2014-November 16, 2014, urges us to watch out for “psychic attractions” during this period. What’s a psychic attraction?

Psychic Attraction is an emotional reaction to another person whereby you get swept up with feelings…that this is destiny, karmic…but this is usually a “mood” that allows you to escape reality. I always say, “Thinking about it is better than doing it,” where some of these relationships are concerned. People who have severe boundary problems or who are going through a strong Neptune transit (affecting one’s sense of boundaries) are susceptible to this type of negative attraction.

Since completing my Forrest Yoga Foundations Teacher Training in May 2014, I have been very interested in the topics of addiction, habitual behaviors, conditioned reactions…a rubric you could sort of lump under “things we do to prevent ourselves from feeling.” Upon reading Lynn’s description of psychic attractions above, I was hit by the part about this attraction masquerading as destiny and karma, but being more accurately a “mood that allows [you] to escape reality.” Yes.

A strong attraction to someone may be used as a means to escape reality. If thoughts about that person are preventing you from working, sleeping, and meeting your obligations to yourself and society, perhaps the attraction is functioning as a behavior that you are addicted to and using to numb out feelings. People with addictive personalities can be extraordinarily clever. If alcohol or drugs or gambling is not your thing, you can still check out by “totally crushing out” on someone, going into an obsessive state. Having had periods like this before, the amount of time spent thinking about the person, looking at whatever I could find about them online, etc. took up countless hours, that if I could get them back now, I would be able to do a whole lot of great stuff! But at the time, I was very caught up in the romantic idea of “destiny” or “fate” because of the magnetism.

Since many people visit my blog for the article about Stages of a Twin Flame Relationship, I thought it would be pertinent to add to the conversation by bringing up this idea of psychic attractions. Have you ever mistaken a psychic attraction for a twin flame? Twin flame relationships are characterized by spiritual growth and a sense of expansion, but a psychic attraction could mimic the early stages of the twin flame relationship. ANY new love affair could mimic the early stages of a twin flame dynamic if we are still working through a lot of karma because the Beloved always reflects back to us what we cannot yet own in ourselves (shadow and light!).

If your strong attraction to someone is not expanding you spiritually and is causing your focus to narrow, you may be using the attraction to stay in denial about other things and feelings percolating in your life. I’d love to hear back from readers on this topic.



Filed under healing, mindfullness

6 responses to “Psychic Attraction or Twin Flame? How addictive personalities can justify all sorts of things…

  1. Star

    I understand the idea of addictive personalities, I just think its a fine line between what you are describing here and ‘destiny’ itself. Is there even a separation between the two? The soul is always learning in life and each experience good, bad or neutral offers the opportunity to learn, how can you delineate which experience of love, romance or relationship is a karmic connection or not? I think if it has a deep effect on both people it is more likely karmic/destined for some purpose.

    I’m sure each and every person we encounter romantically whether it is unrequited love, a long term relationship or friendship is a soul we have some kind of destiny connection with.

  2. Diane

    Brian and I are both addicts. We met in re-hab when I was 22. There was this connection like I had never felt before right from the moment we met. I ended up going back to Florida and it was great living together. We were planning on getting married, brought a house. I worked in the night club business where I got paid to drink and do drugs. After 3 years I almost died in his arms so I went back home to Pa. and he stayed in Florida. I couldn’t live that life style anymore so I got right into recovery. I have a long history of abuse and ended up in abusive relationship in Pa. I married an attorney and had 5 kids. He wasn’t letting me go anywhere. All I wanted to do is die. I was trying so hard to drink myself to death. One night I was thinking of Brian and sent out an SOS. to this day I have no idea how he got it. He contacted me. Children and Youth removed my ex from the home before that but that didn’t stop the abuse it got worse. Brian and I would talk for hours via telephone. It didn’t matter the distance it was magical. Looking back I know God was in control the whole time. We came in from two completely different places He was physically dying from liver failure and I was spiritually dead. Some how we did it together. I needed him but the distance to work on me. It was the most spiritual thing I’ve ever done and the hardest. God gave us the opportunity to spend the last year and a half living together again. We’ve been through so much together. Hospitals, putting a business together, death of my dad. We are both in recovery were we are helping drug addicts and Alcoholics. I want to work with abused woman and children. and Brian loves the young kids. He goes into detoxes and speaks. We both keep God first because with him all things are possible. Brian already died once on the table. Had the full near death experience and came back to me. He is now in Florida and I am in Pa. The treatment is working so far. No matter what we are always together. I just might get that wedding he promised me 29 years ago and he might get his transplant. If we don’t God gave me what I wanted the most Just one night in his arms. He didn’t agree and has given me the past year and a half. With more to come. We both saved each other he helped rebuild me from the inside and I take care of his health. We take care of each other.

  3. jasminejjohnson

    Hello. I just wanted to say that I may very possibly be a person who has this addictive behavior. My father was a drug-addict. My mom used to be an alcoholic and a smoker, and she now is addicted to overheating. When I was in high school, I met someone who I later considered my “Twinflame” because of all the strange things that were happening. However, I’ve also thought that maybe I’m just addicted to the connection and magmatism we shared…I wouldn’t call myself a “stalker”, other than the occasional Facebook check-up, but I definitely have felt obsessed ever since I met this person, obsessed with the thought of him and the vibration feeling I now feel that I never felt before meeting him or anyone. And also obsessed with finding answers. The thing is, it wasn’t really physical attraction that drew me to him. That developed later. It was a our sort of sense of one another’s presence and then our soul connection through eye-contact that drew us together and kept us coming back to it. I feel addicted in a sense because he appears to have moved on. I’d like to as well. It’s hard to imagine life without thinking of him/feeling him, as though it’s ingrained…but we aren’t even physically “together”. That’s why I feel “crazy” come in.

    • Hi Jasmine, I agree sometimes it’s hard to tell if it’s a twin flame or obsessive behavior. However, either possibility will get you to explore, to look inward. A twin flame and obsession are not unlike, in the sense that both, in time, will force you to look at how you are living (or not living, as the case may be) as you are caught in the midst of the flame/obsessive dynamic. My experience with this is that it IS possible to move on. Doesn’t mean you forget, but you realize that life doesn’t always hand you what you want or what you think is coming to you. The truth is we may never realize what we think we want, but in the suffering that arises from that sense of not getting what we want or “going without,” something shifts in us. We become more resilient, wiser, and more able to love when the love that we CAN have is right in front of our faces. And perhaps we grow to see that what we thought we wanted was a reflection of our ego at the time, and that actually, what we need is far different. All cases of unrequited or frustrated love are learning opportunities.

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