Tag Archives: relationship

Beauty Report: The beach and being in the present moment

Sandy beach, Long Beach. Long Island, New York, USAMy partner and I went to the beach on Monday. Being at the beach erases all troubles and allows us to be our most natural selves. When we’re at the beach, everything is ok. The sound of the waves caressing the shore lulls me to sleep. We soak in the rays of the sun, build sandcastles, watch seagulls. In this moment, life is perfect and beautiful. As we live only in the present moment, let me rephrase that to say…life is perfect and beautiful.

There is nothing like being in nature to reconnect us to Beauty. Nature soothes. Without distractions of phones, computers, traffic, noises, advertisements, or schedules, we can simply experience ourselves as human animal, primal, perfectly made for basking in the sun and playing in the waves. This is healing.

Beauty Reports are something we do in Forrest Yoga to acknowledge the overwhelming beauty of our lives, and to help us reconnect to our spirits, the things that feed us. A-ho.

 

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Asking For What We Need: The Empowerment Triangle

empowermenttriangleA friend of mine posted this to her Facebook wall today: “What you resist persists. Gotta feel it to heal it. Avoiding life does not lead to transformation or enlightenment.”

Let’s break this down. “Feel it to heal it” aka “the only way out is through.” Sometimes “feeling it” means going thru a period of shadow willingly and without resistance. Our emotions don’t come with a time-table; sometimes we get activated by processes or life circumstances and we’re IN IT. The right time is now. The other day at lunch with some friends I started crying. My friend said “feel that.” As soon as she said it I knew what she meant. Don’t push it down. Get what that feeling is. FEEL THAT! I’ve learned that if we push down or deny or reason away our emotions, we’re going to end up numb and disempowered.

Avoiding life…just because we are active in our work and social lives and personal life doesn’t mean we are present. Non-avoidance means acknowledging what comes up and grappling with it, not shrinking away, having courage to admit “this is here” and then taking the next most healing step.

This dovetails into “what you resist persists.” When we know we have something to deal with and we don’t, it’s just going to sit there like mold growing on one strawberry in the box; eventually, the whole box is contaminated. What we don’t address gains momentum and strength, like opportunistic bacteria that thrive the danker and more toxic their environment gets.

For whatever reason, I was born in this life with a drive towards liberation and freedom, my own and others who are suffering (which is, everyone). All my samskaras (past and present life karma) are here to teach me. I have trained myself to view challenges, injuries, and “shit that happens to us” as teachers. I was not always this way. Peace is a long road. We all come to the path with different strengths and weaknesses. And we are all walking it together.

To couch this post in a constructive light, I’d like to make a request of anyone reading this: TODAY, please FEEL your feelings around something that triggers you. Do NOT avoid it. Then, write your comment here, what you felt, what you did not resist, and how you did not avoid life.

Here is mine, for today: I need to start ASKING for what I want and need in a clear and precise manner instead of assuming people will understand what I want/need and give it to me. This is especially true in intimate partnerships and work situations. This also applies to creative situations, where I am working with others. My programming around asking is that I will either not get what I ask for or I will get something less than what I asked for, or a replacement. For example, as a kid, I wanted to play the drums and wanted a drum set. My father said NO!, then a few weeks later brought me a small hand drum. I remember feeling as a young child that I was expected to be ok with this hand drum, but it was not the drum set with drumsticks that I yearned to bang on. I did not ever end up playing the drums. In relationship, when I have asked a partner for something I needed, like assistance when I had an injury, the expectation I had was not met. I was helped in the most rudimentary (and reluctant) of ways, and I felt burdensome and ashamed, especially because he lacked compassion for the condition I was in (needless to say the relationship ended). This is just an example of how I learned that asking did not mean receiving.

To heal this, I have to move out of “victim” mode by identifying how I feel. How I feel when I am confronted with need is afraid, vulnerable, unsteady, knocked off balance, shy, and anxious. How I will avoid avoidance (hah!) is by identifying when I need to ASK for something to have my needs met and finding the courage to ASK with clarity and precision. If my initial ask is not acceptable, I will NEGOTIATE until a solution can be reached.

This process was inspired by my friend Alex’s “empowerment triangle” he mentioned at dinner tonight. The image of it is above.

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Stages of a Twin Flame relationship

This is re-posted from http://www.twinsoulunity.com, a website dedicated to Soul Mate, Twin Soul, and Twin Flame relationships.

At one point, I believed I had met my Twin Flame, but I was sad because I was not sure if he recognized me as his Twin Flame. I still believe there is a bond between me & this person, but I am fully in the stage of Surrender, and have moved on. All along, I knew the pain and frustration of this non-consummated union was in service of spiritual growth. Unconditional love was one of the most poignant lessons I learned from this not-quite-relationship, as was listening to my Higher Self, which doesn’t think and analyze, but receives, senses, and knows without knowing.

As human evolution continues to advance, and spiritual growth accelerates for those who are tuned in to such energies on the planet, I believe we will be seeing and hearing a lot more about Twin Flames. I don’t think Twin Flames need to be united in sex or physical love. As tempting as it may be to feel this person is “made for you,” maybe they are made for you as a beacon towards your own spiritual development, which will enable you to love ALL, not just one, with the gift of spiritual, accepting, un-grasping love.

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The Stages of a Twin Flame Relationship
  1. Recognition and Temporary Spiritual Awakening
  2. Testing
  3. Crisis
  4. Runner Dynamic
  5. Surrender
  6. Radiance
  7. Harmonizing

**The Key to getting to the final Harmonizing stage with the least amount of suffering is to bypass one’s own Testing, Crisis and Runner stages.  This can be accomplished by staying surrendered to G…od throughout. **

Stage 1:  Recognition and Temporary Spiritual Awakening

Characteristics of Stage 1:
Both Twins recognize one another at the soul level and feel as if they have met before.  Synchronious events surround the union.  The heart chakras open and both souls quickly merge into a third unified energy.  Both Twins experience an acceleration of spiritual understanding.

The purpose of the Recognition and Temporary Spiritual Awakening Stage:
To activate the memory of each soul’s life mission and to help awaken each Twin to higher levels of consciousness.

Stage 2:  Testing

Characteristics of Stage 2:
The initial temporary spiritual awakening (illumination) fades. The ego (“little self”) begins to re-emerge.  One or both Twins may attempt to fit the relationship into the “old model” of Love, couplehood and relationship as it relates to their ego desires and learned belief system.  Inner conflict arises.  Twins ruminate on what they were taught to believe their beloved “should be” and how relationships are supposed to serve them.

Both Twins feel simultaneously inspired and toppled by the power of the union.
Doubts creep in making one or both Twins begin to view their beloved critically or suspiciously.

The purpose of the Testing stage:
To cause outdated mental concepts about relationships to rise to the surface to be cleared.

Stage 3:  Crisis

Characteristics of Stage 3:
The crisis of the Twin is realizing they must reject their egoic beliefs about Love relationships or reject their beloved.  Having to shed “little self” or identity-based beliefs and desires to embrace a higher expression of Love can lead to stubbornness and anxiety.  Fear can take hold, triggering many dysfunctional emotional patterns.  In staying present with the patterns, they can be witnessed and released.

Despite fears, both Twins naturally come together in cycles for bonding, confession, forgiveness and Lovemaking.  These rituals cement higher levels of consciousness into the energy fields of both Twins.

The purpose of the Crisis stage:
To provide opportunities for the healing and maturing of the mental and emotional bodies.

Stage 4:  The Runner Dynamic

Characteristics of Stage 4:
The human ego naturally fears annihilation in the face of the Unified Consciousness encoded inside the Twin Flame Union.  The pain body rises up and old ego survival mechanisms or “bottom of the barrel” emotional and mental patterns like defiance, resistance, manipulation, anger, punishing and judgment arise.

One or both Twins become emotionally and mentally flooded with deep pain from what feels like soul-level rejection and abandonment.  The unbearable soul-level pain leads one or both Twins to withdraw physically and block communication in fear and futility.  One or both Twins may unsuccessfully try to re-create the original unified harmony.

The purpose of the Runner Dynamic:
To propel both individuals towards God for healing and maturation of the spiritual body.

NOTE:  The temptation to engage in ego battle or withdrawal is very seductive and difficult for many to resist, which is why many Twins never reach Surrender, Radiance or Harmony.

Remember, there is no room for judgment in Twin Soul pairings. Each soul learns from much walking its own path and choosing through its own will.  Your non-attached loving thoughts will be felt by your beloved in the subconscious, keeping them strong.

Stage 5:  Surrender

Characteristics of Stage 5: 
The direction and outcome of the relationship is surrendered to God in full faith and trust that the Union is under Divine Protection.  It is accepted that what is best and destined for the final physical harmonizing will transpire in its own time. (Both Twins must reach Illumination in order to harmonize in the physical)

The “Runner” Twin is allowed the space and freedom to choose to evolve at their own pace in their own way.  At this stage, the frequency of compassion returns and maintains itself.  The Surrendered Twin holds a heart space for their beloved while fully exploring life on the way to becoming an Illuminated human.  This may be a time of channeling Unconditional Love into art, music, writing, teaching, active service or some other creative outlet.

Purpose of the Surrender stage:
To help each soul release the ego, develop regular communication with God and demonstrate their full trust in God to do what is best and when.

Stage 6:  Self Realization, Illumination, Radiance

Characteristics of Stage 6: 
The ego or “little self” dies and the God-force energy takes over the body.  This leads to a complete spiritual awakening, arriving at one’s fully awakened divinity. This is the stage of radiating Divine Love rather than seeking romantic Love.

At this stage, the surrendered Twin’s emotional, mental and spiritual bodies arrive at full maturity.  New creativity and healing abilities arise, which are put in service to assist others.
Purpose of the Radiance stage:
To establish an outward flow of Divine Love through one’s body and works, which vibrates at a level that uplifts humanity.
Stage 7:  Harmonizing
Characteristics of Stage 7:
By this stage both Twins have awakened.  They come together in the physical to assimilate their newly evolved energies, flowing into the new dynamic of their Unified Potential.  Both Twins integrate fully into the third energy of Unconditional Love in a way that influences others towards their own heart opening.
Purpose of the Harmonizing stage:
To fulfill the intended mission of the Twin Flame Union.
**Twin Flame relationships come into your life to help mold you to embody the vibration of Unconditional Love.**
Written by a gal named Jenna
Looking for yoga, healing, and wellness coaching? Let me help you develop a wellness plan for your entire life: body, mind, and soul: http://www.lolarephann.com/my-approach/

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