Tag Archives: Twin Flame

Psychic Attraction or Twin Flame? How addictive personalities can justify all sorts of things…

BlindSpotFatalAttraction4Astrologer Lynn Koiner, in writing about Neptune’s retrograde period in Pisces from June 9, 2014-November 16, 2014, urges us to watch out for “psychic attractions” during this period. What’s a psychic attraction?

Psychic Attraction is an emotional reaction to another person whereby you get swept up with feelings…that this is destiny, karmic…but this is usually a “mood” that allows you to escape reality. I always say, “Thinking about it is better than doing it,” where some of these relationships are concerned. People who have severe boundary problems or who are going through a strong Neptune transit (affecting one’s sense of boundaries) are susceptible to this type of negative attraction.

Since completing my Forrest Yoga Foundations Teacher Training in May 2014, I have been very interested in the topics of addiction, habitual behaviors, conditioned reactions…a rubric you could sort of lump under “things we do to prevent ourselves from feeling.” Upon reading Lynn’s description of psychic attractions above, I was hit by the part about this attraction masquerading as destiny and karma, but being more accurately a “mood that allows [you] to escape reality.” Yes.

A strong attraction to someone may be used as a means to escape reality. If thoughts about that person are preventing you from working, sleeping, and meeting your obligations to yourself and society, perhaps the attraction is functioning as a behavior that you are addicted to and using to numb out feelings. People with addictive personalities can be extraordinarily clever. If alcohol or drugs or gambling is not your thing, you can still check out by “totally crushing out” on someone, going into an obsessive state. Having had periods like this before, the amount of time spent thinking about the person, looking at whatever I could find about them online, etc. took up countless hours, that if I could get them back now, I would be able to do a whole lot of great stuff! But at the time, I was very caught up in the romantic idea of “destiny” or “fate” because of the magnetism.

Since many people visit my blog for the article about Stages of a Twin Flame Relationship, I thought it would be pertinent to add to the conversation by bringing up this idea of psychic attractions. Have you ever mistaken a psychic attraction for a twin flame? Twin flame relationships are characterized by spiritual growth and a sense of expansion, but a psychic attraction could mimic the early stages of the twin flame relationship. ANY new love affair could mimic the early stages of a twin flame dynamic if we are still working through a lot of karma because the Beloved always reflects back to us what we cannot yet own in ourselves (shadow and light!).

If your strong attraction to someone is not expanding you spiritually and is causing your focus to narrow, you may be using the attraction to stay in denial about other things and feelings percolating in your life. I’d love to hear back from readers on this topic.



Filed under healing, mindfullness

Stages of a Twin Flame relationship

This is re-posted from http://www.twinsoulunity.com, a website dedicated to Soul Mate, Twin Soul, and Twin Flame relationships.

At one point, I believed I had met my Twin Flame, but I was sad because I was not sure if he recognized me as his Twin Flame. I still believe there is a bond between me & this person, but I am fully in the stage of Surrender, and have moved on. All along, I knew the pain and frustration of this non-consummated union was in service of spiritual growth. Unconditional love was one of the most poignant lessons I learned from this not-quite-relationship, as was listening to my Higher Self, which doesn’t think and analyze, but receives, senses, and knows without knowing.

As human evolution continues to advance, and spiritual growth accelerates for those who are tuned in to such energies on the planet, I believe we will be seeing and hearing a lot more about Twin Flames. I don’t think Twin Flames need to be united in sex or physical love. As tempting as it may be to feel this person is “made for you,” maybe they are made for you as a beacon towards your own spiritual development, which will enable you to love ALL, not just one, with the gift of spiritual, accepting, un-grasping love.


The Stages of a Twin Flame Relationship
  1. Recognition and Temporary Spiritual Awakening
  2. Testing
  3. Crisis
  4. Runner Dynamic
  5. Surrender
  6. Radiance
  7. Harmonizing

**The Key to getting to the final Harmonizing stage with the least amount of suffering is to bypass one’s own Testing, Crisis and Runner stages.  This can be accomplished by staying surrendered to G…od throughout. **

Stage 1:  Recognition and Temporary Spiritual Awakening

Characteristics of Stage 1:
Both Twins recognize one another at the soul level and feel as if they have met before.  Synchronious events surround the union.  The heart chakras open and both souls quickly merge into a third unified energy.  Both Twins experience an acceleration of spiritual understanding.

The purpose of the Recognition and Temporary Spiritual Awakening Stage:
To activate the memory of each soul’s life mission and to help awaken each Twin to higher levels of consciousness.

Stage 2:  Testing

Characteristics of Stage 2:
The initial temporary spiritual awakening (illumination) fades. The ego (“little self”) begins to re-emerge.  One or both Twins may attempt to fit the relationship into the “old model” of Love, couplehood and relationship as it relates to their ego desires and learned belief system.  Inner conflict arises.  Twins ruminate on what they were taught to believe their beloved “should be” and how relationships are supposed to serve them.

Both Twins feel simultaneously inspired and toppled by the power of the union.
Doubts creep in making one or both Twins begin to view their beloved critically or suspiciously.

The purpose of the Testing stage:
To cause outdated mental concepts about relationships to rise to the surface to be cleared.

Stage 3:  Crisis

Characteristics of Stage 3:
The crisis of the Twin is realizing they must reject their egoic beliefs about Love relationships or reject their beloved.  Having to shed “little self” or identity-based beliefs and desires to embrace a higher expression of Love can lead to stubbornness and anxiety.  Fear can take hold, triggering many dysfunctional emotional patterns.  In staying present with the patterns, they can be witnessed and released.

Despite fears, both Twins naturally come together in cycles for bonding, confession, forgiveness and Lovemaking.  These rituals cement higher levels of consciousness into the energy fields of both Twins.

The purpose of the Crisis stage:
To provide opportunities for the healing and maturing of the mental and emotional bodies.

Stage 4:  The Runner Dynamic

Characteristics of Stage 4:
The human ego naturally fears annihilation in the face of the Unified Consciousness encoded inside the Twin Flame Union.  The pain body rises up and old ego survival mechanisms or “bottom of the barrel” emotional and mental patterns like defiance, resistance, manipulation, anger, punishing and judgment arise.

One or both Twins become emotionally and mentally flooded with deep pain from what feels like soul-level rejection and abandonment.  The unbearable soul-level pain leads one or both Twins to withdraw physically and block communication in fear and futility.  One or both Twins may unsuccessfully try to re-create the original unified harmony.

The purpose of the Runner Dynamic:
To propel both individuals towards God for healing and maturation of the spiritual body.

NOTE:  The temptation to engage in ego battle or withdrawal is very seductive and difficult for many to resist, which is why many Twins never reach Surrender, Radiance or Harmony.

Remember, there is no room for judgment in Twin Soul pairings. Each soul learns from much walking its own path and choosing through its own will.  Your non-attached loving thoughts will be felt by your beloved in the subconscious, keeping them strong.

Stage 5:  Surrender

Characteristics of Stage 5: 
The direction and outcome of the relationship is surrendered to God in full faith and trust that the Union is under Divine Protection.  It is accepted that what is best and destined for the final physical harmonizing will transpire in its own time. (Both Twins must reach Illumination in order to harmonize in the physical)

The “Runner” Twin is allowed the space and freedom to choose to evolve at their own pace in their own way.  At this stage, the frequency of compassion returns and maintains itself.  The Surrendered Twin holds a heart space for their beloved while fully exploring life on the way to becoming an Illuminated human.  This may be a time of channeling Unconditional Love into art, music, writing, teaching, active service or some other creative outlet.

Purpose of the Surrender stage:
To help each soul release the ego, develop regular communication with God and demonstrate their full trust in God to do what is best and when.

Stage 6:  Self Realization, Illumination, Radiance

Characteristics of Stage 6: 
The ego or “little self” dies and the God-force energy takes over the body.  This leads to a complete spiritual awakening, arriving at one’s fully awakened divinity. This is the stage of radiating Divine Love rather than seeking romantic Love.

At this stage, the surrendered Twin’s emotional, mental and spiritual bodies arrive at full maturity.  New creativity and healing abilities arise, which are put in service to assist others.
Purpose of the Radiance stage:
To establish an outward flow of Divine Love through one’s body and works, which vibrates at a level that uplifts humanity.
Stage 7:  Harmonizing
Characteristics of Stage 7:
By this stage both Twins have awakened.  They come together in the physical to assimilate their newly evolved energies, flowing into the new dynamic of their Unified Potential.  Both Twins integrate fully into the third energy of Unconditional Love in a way that influences others towards their own heart opening.
Purpose of the Harmonizing stage:
To fulfill the intended mission of the Twin Flame Union.
**Twin Flame relationships come into your life to help mold you to embody the vibration of Unconditional Love.**
Written by a gal named Jenna
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Filed under healing, mind body spirit, tantra

The Spiritual Gifts of Unrequited Love

I came across this article by Michele Knight in my Twitter feed, and as soon as I saw the title, a feeling went off inside me: oh yah, I know alllll about the spiritual gifts of unrequited love. When you are in the midst of an unrequited love infection, you can’t eat, you can’t sleep, the world revolves around the Beloved and what they are or aren’t doing, what they said or didn’t say, how close or far you perceive them to be to you, and your mood lurches around as jarringly as an old wood roller coaster.

There are three typical routes this situation can take. The first one is: oblivion. You and your unrequited love never manifest into a real relationship. You keep holding on, despite every evidence to the contrary, as your heart and soul leak vitality and wholeness with every passing moment. The Beloved holds such power over you, but instead of seeing this situation as your choice and a learning experience you must pass through, you externalize the lesson and make it about him or her. This seldom creates growth. Instead, it sets up a tendency towards self-mutilation, as you examine your personality and being with a fine-tooth comb, seeing only what can be changed, excised, or gained to make yourself desirable to the Beloved. “If only I…” and the thought invariably ends “…then s/he would love me.”

The second route is transmutation: all that stored up energy is released. The Beloved and you come to some sort of agreement. Either you agree to move on or give it a shot or whatever you come up with, but there is a transmutation that both participate in. You both have grown. The lover has learned patience, has followed his intuition, has gone deep into the well of love, has stayed on course with an open mind and heart. The Beloved learns from, and is softened, by the loyalty and constancy of the lover. The Beloved opens and the lover’s ability to trust is healed, and something alchemical happens in the process. I’m not sure if these relationships stay together. Maybe all that resistance was building up to a huge transmutation of energy, and both partners needed one another to release it. The relationship stays together only so long as both need to gather what’s necessary for the next stage of development, but there is always a fond memory ands special acknowledgement of the growth you brought to each other’s lives.

The third way is the way of time and reality. Time, compassion, and open-heartedness are needed to move through this phase or style of connection. In this dynamic, the Beloved never acknowledges your love, and the lover is never quite able to let go of the feelings. Perhaps it is a karmic connection and there is soul material from the past that needs to be worked through. Perhaps this is a Twin Flame vibration and one partner does not recognize the other as a Twin. Whatever the case, the feelings can persist for years and decades, but this is the scenario that holds immense fodder for spiritual and emotional growth.

To recognize it is possible to love someone without needing them to love you back is a huge spiritual lesson. Not an easy lesson, and one that requires constant practice, but to be able to love and not be loved back in the way you desire puts you, as Pema Chodoron says, in the state of soft heart. Soft heart, when our heart is broken and bruised, when tears are just below the surface almost all of the time, when the physical ache of our heart corresponds exactly to the emotional pain we feel at not being able to merge with the Beloved, is a place of great tenderness and openness. Pema says having your heart broken is a gift. She says it awakens boddhichitta.

A book on this subject which affected me deeply is Open To Desire by Mark Epstein. In this book, Epstein uses the Buddha’s lesson of relinquishing attachment as the device to help people see the difference between attachment and desire. Desire often stimulates attachment, and can definitely encourage attachment: humans are creatures of habit and sensually oriented and love things that make them feel better. Such feelings, when externalized onto an object, are temporary. Even within, they can be temporary if not tended to through meditation, introspection, and constant mental training to distinguish the difference between craving and attachment.

Check out Michele Knight’s article, which beautifully expresses the transformative gifts of unrequited love. Remember, everything is a mirror, a reflection. What you see out there is somewhere within you, and it’s especially valuable to check out the stuff reflected back that we don’t like so much.


Filed under tantra